How growing up in a single-parent household made me a stronger woman.

I would first like to preface this article with this:

I know there are many individuals who have grown up in single-parent households, and households with both parents who are amazing individuals and have done great things with their lives. While I wish I could say that I had both parents growing up, I did not. But, I had a wonderful support system from my mother and her side of the family. My hopes with this article is to show and inspire other women who grew up in fatherless households that you are capable of doing great things. 

Background

My parents divorced at the age of eight for me. I couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on, all I knew is that mom and dad didn’t love each other anymore and my siblings and I would switch from house to house every other week. When that routine finally seemed to set in, my father quickly remarried a woman who wanted nothing to do with us and eventually cut us out in hopes of making his new wife happy. I’ll save you the grimy details of this whole mess, but by the age of 11, my father was no longer a part of my life.

At first, I felt betrayed and hopeless, partly because someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally no longer knew what I was doing in my life. Little did I know that growing up in a single-parent household would make me stronger and more motivated than I could have ever thought.

I learned to count on myself

My mother worked hard to provide for my siblings and me, some days it was rough and we wouldn’t see her till late at night. Lucky for us my Nana and Papa lived up the street and we were able to spend our days out of school there. I like to think that was my saving grace in middle and high school, I had a safe place to go aside from my own house.

My mother was a hard worker, and it taught me to be a hard worker and count on myself if I wanted something to be done. I worked hard through high school, went to college early, and was able to supply myself with some income working a part-time job.

Often times I feel like I see young girls who wait for someone to fill in the gaps of what is left in a single-parent household when in reality you can create your next step and make it happen without waiting on anyone. YOU create your own reality is the number one thing I learned growing up, and if you want something done count on yourself to do it.

I learned how to become responsible

I know I know… this was hard, and let me just say I appreciate this now as an adult than as a teenager. I had to learn to be more responsible because well I had things to do and accomplish! My mom often times left work super early so it was up to me to get myself up and moving for the day. Of course, I didn’t HAVE to get up and go to class, but at the end of the day, I’m glad I did and took the initiative because I was able to graduate early and now have a great career.

This is just one small example of the many responsibilities I learned to do. My point with this is being accountable and responsible for my day to day tasks made me stronger. My mom wasn’t always there to make sure my homework was done or if I made it to class. One parent can’t always see everything their kid is doing, so being in a single-parent household made me more accountable and responsible for my life.

I cherished family time

With my mother working her butt off and us kids always in school or doing activities I really learned how to cherish quality family time, and enjoy the time spent together. I became a stronger woman not just because of a single-parent household, but because I had a strong bond and support system within my little family. I couldn’t have done it without the bond of my family.

Strong women

I know that strong women are formed each and every day, but for me being in a single-parent home taught me a lot about myself and my strength. Of course, I couldn’t have done it without an amazing support system by my side and help along the way from friends. This is just a snippet of my strong woman story, I hope it inspires others to share theirs and become strong women themselves.

Hapwritinging xx tinapey

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7 Comments

  1. Sharon
    August 1, 2018 / 12:22 pm

    Thanks so much for your transparency. This helps me to better understand what women go through when they come from a single parent home, and even more of what happens after divorce. Even in the hardest of situations, I see how God used it to make you a Steel Magnolia. Blessings

    • August 1, 2018 / 1:44 pm

      Thank you for much for this! God bless xx

      • August 1, 2018 / 2:59 pm

        I can absolutely relate to this! My parents separated when I was six and I grew up mostly just with my mom. I had to learn a lot of the same things much earlier than the majority of my friends.

  2. August 1, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    As someone who also grew up in a single-parent household, I love this! It has definitely made me a stronger woman, as well. Kudos to you for learning so much and so quickly! It’s not always easy growing up without another parent!

  3. August 1, 2018 / 6:52 pm

    I tell people sometimes that my upbringing is the reason I am capable of doing some of the things that others around me consider difficult or impossible. I am very, very pleased to see someone who feels the same. We aren’t trying to be offensive, only encouraging!

  4. Angelina
    August 2, 2018 / 6:53 pm

    I grew up in a single parent house as well. Although my experience of having a single mother was and is vastly different than yours I agree with you. It made me a stronger woman today. Thank you for writing this it is nice to know your not alone.

  5. August 28, 2018 / 7:46 pm

    Another great uplifting post! 💛💕 love it!

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